Beauty as Art -- Why Wearing Makeup Should not be Shamed

Yesterday, I had the honor of attending and speaking at my company's Empower You training in Chicago, Illinois.  Our company sells "makeup," but what is becoming more and more evident to me, is that we are SHARING self-esteem and inner beauty through confidence and empowerment and fun.

Much controversy surrounds the makeup industry as a whole and women who choose to wear makeup.  I've found many women and men attempt to compliment women by telling them that they are beautiful that they do not "need" makeup.  However, I cannot help but sometimes feel this "compliment" is backhanded and attempt to be a dig, or suggestion that by wearing makeup one is somehow vain or a message that they NEED makeup to feel beautiful.  In my experience, vanity, perhaps is one of the LAST reasons a woman (or a man), will wear makeup.

I see makeup much like I see clothes and fashion -- it's an outward expression of who I am. It's an outward expression of how I feel.  I know I do not NEED it, but I like the way I feel when I play with colors and different textures and looks.

Case in point?  My maternity pictures.  I love how darker colors can literally make me feel more sophisticated and sexy, while lighter colors can make me feel fresh, innocent and pure.  It's fun for me. It's an artistic expression.

I love to draw. My favorite is pencil drawing and thicker oil paints. I love the contrast between black and white and all the shades of grey in between.  Then...the heavier textured acrylic paints add that vibrant pop of color that's so eye-catching and fun.

To me, fashion and makeup is ART. Yes. Art.  It's an adult color pallet that allows one to express her/himself in accordance to their terms and feelings.

Makeup is not insulin.  However, I want to suggest that it is a powerful medicine.  Through my 19 months of being in the "makeup industry," I have seen and heard from so many women, in so many different situations, that have shared that the simple act of putting on makeup -- of putting on a brave face in light of divorce, chemotherapy, loss, depression or whatever, is that ONE thing that helps them heal on the inside.  The simple act of feeling pretty on the OUTSIDE, somehow, impacts the way these women feel on the INSIDE. How can that be wrong?

My sister, currently undergoing chemotherapy, referred to putting on her makeup as an "anti-depressant."  I agree 100%. When I joined this company, it was the dead of winter in Central Illinois.  I had given up my career to raise my boys, but I had lost myself along the way.  I spent my days in my pajamas or in my "workout clothes" and I felt as though I was disappearing.  When I started my new business, I was forced to put on makeup because it was billboard, and then, interestingly, if my face was done, I somehow felt BETTER, put on REAL clothes and felt that I could literally face the world.

Our culture is so full of insecurity, shame, hatred and down-right meanness, why would we SHAME women for wanting to put their best face forward?  Why would we try to belittle or break them down for wanting to feel BEAUTIFUL, if only on the outside, because they are breaking on the inside?    Why would we want to PERPETUATE a culture that we say we are fighting (one that says we don't NEED make up to be or feel beautiful)?

I'm honored and proud to be doing what I do. I'm blessed to be making a small, but significant change in helping women feel that they are ENOUGH.  That yes, they are beautiful. That they can put on makeup, take a selfie, and share it with the world.  How empowering is it to get outside your comfort zone and be validated that you told those negative voices in your head to take a hike.  To see the "likes" on your selfie!!!

Beauty is in they eye of the beholder. Beauty SHOULD start from within, but sometimes, when we are broken, when life is moving beyond our control, or when our "femininity" is being taken from us, the simple act of putting on lipstick is all the armor we need to face the day and say: I'm ENOUGH.

If your true intent is to empower women, and to make them feel like validated, let them be.  If they want to wear makeup, compliment them.  If they choose not to wear makeup, compliment them.  But don't perpetuate the belittlement of women by attempting in a back-handed way to shame them or demean them for wanting or needing to express themselves. It may be their only defense in a world that has beaten them down.

I hope to raise my daughter in a way, where I ask myself if my comments, suggestions or "compliments" truly uplift, empower and validate her as a person. As a person that SHE choses to be!!

The Trials and Tribulations of Working from Home

I always dreamed of being able to work from home. Savoring my coffee, whilst still in my pajamas as the rest of the world is tugging on panty hose and running out the door with stale toast in their hands. I dreamt of lounging on the couch, with The Today show quietly on in the background and blissfully working with none of the distractions of silly meetings, billable hours or bosses watching your every move.

This dream was the result of my experiences.  I've been fortunate enough to experience it all. I've been the working woman, racing out the door in a crisp tailored suit, briefcase and hair in a french twist.  I've been the working mom, racing out the door in a "somewhat" pressed suit with baby spit up on it, and hair in a messy bun.I've been a stay at home mom, in the yoga pants and nikes watching the clock tick by slowly, counting down the hours until my husband came home to save me from inevitable boredom and monotony.

Now....now, I am living the DREAM!!!  I'm a self-employed, mother who works from HOME!!  Do you hear angels singing? No?  Me neither.  Every decision has it's pros and cons -- it's plus and minuses, it's good and bad.  Quotes and adages have been coined for THIS situation: "be careful what you wish for;" "grass is greener on the other side;" "you always want what you don't have."

I'm a BUSY mom! I work from home, which means my home is my office, and my dog, cats, three boys and husband are always in my "office!" Their shoes, clothes, backpacks etc. are in my office.  My "other" job (i.e. my domestic) duties constantly stare me in the face, reminding me ALWAYS that there is more to be done. There will always be MORE to do.  There will always be a feeling of inadequacy, or rather, never finishing the job!

But that is life!! We are never DONE! There is always more to do! There is always something waiting for your attention, someone or something that needs MORE...and I'm learning that is OK!

Why?  When I'm "done" is when I'm dead.  When I'm done, this house will be perfectly clean and quiet, there will be no "issues" from work, because I will likely not have a job (whether it be in the office or at home).  There will be nothing, but a very loud silence.  

So I'm embracing where I am RIGHT NOW in life! I'm not perfect. My life isn't perfect, but I'm WORKING and working at being me, being a mom, being a wife, being a friend, a leader, a businesswoman and being AUTHENTIC.

I'm finding that nobody wants perfect. They may say they do, but they appreciate real.  They appreciate when you show that the struggle is real. So...in an effort to show my struggle, I'll share my video I made in less than 2 minutes for my mascara/makeup business!

I had about 2 minutes to show this amazing product!  Excuse my hair, my dog barking and kids fighting in the background!  Seriously, if you get ONE product for yourself this fall...it NEEDS to be Younique's liquid foundation.  Check out the hot mess here: https://youtu.be/nLjcBgR480U

Freedom With Age -- Embracing Life

Life keeps getting better and better!  When I was younger, I think I feared getting "older" and older to me, meant in my 40's!  However, I never expected the amount of liberation and freedom I would feel once I matured, shed my concerns over what others' think of me, and started to live more authentically!

During my first few pregnancies, I lived in fear. I was afraid of gaining too much weight, afraid of losing "myself," afraid of what I thought others would say, and afraid...essentially, of the changes that were taking place with my body!  Being a self-proclaimed perfectionist, being "out of control" of my body for 9 months is a nerve-wracking experience!  

I hid behind these insecurities and said things like: "I just don't post belly pictures."  I'm not an "exhibitionist."  "Pregnancy is a private matter."  I hid my belly behind looser-fitting maternity clothes, and listened to some of my relatives "tsk tsking" those women who wore body-hugging dresses during their pregnancy.  I lived my life walking on egg shells and worried about what EVERYONE else thought.  I was so consumed with my own insecurities, that I missed out on the joy and miracles taking place.

This time around, I feel a very different sense of freedom. I have been willing to embrace maternity fashion that I avoided before.  Instead of fighting my body, and the life growing inside, I have reached a new level of peace.  I'm embracing it all.  Now that I'm 41, the fact that I'm carrying another child after experiencing secondary infertility, miscarriage and more, is a testament to the strength of my marriage, my body and my soul. I'm proud. I'm proud of the miracle growing inside. 

I've reached a point, where if others express disdain, shock or uncomfortableness with a woman in her 40's being pregnant, this is THEIR issue.  So much discussion takes place about our bodies.  So much judgment is passed between women, about women!!  Instead of celebrating what our bodies can do, and the strength that comes with LIFE...we SHAME each other.  

Yesterday, I shed my fear. I embraced life and I embraced my adventures in MIDLIFE!!  I took maternity photos!!!  This was really out of my comfort zone, but honestly? It was one of the most liberating moments of my life!!  

I'm sure I will receive some criticism over these photos from family and friends, whom express pointed opinions about pregnancy etc., but, again, now that I'm older, I see these "opinions" as a reflection of their own insecurities and body shame issues.  

I'm living and loving my life!!  If I knew in my 20's or 30's, that life would be this FREE, I may have shed those silly concerns over what others' thought of my sooner!!

Watching my sister battle breast cancer has been eye-opening for me.  I LOVE her photos where she bears her soul. Her photos of herself with a bald head, are an amazing depiction of her strength and resolve to beat this disease.  I can see the empowerment in her eyes in those photos. I see the determination, the resolve and the LOVE of life.  I see a similar look in my own eyes in these photos. I see love, acceptance, comfort and peace.  I wish, as women, we could live our entire lives that way.

It is my hope that my daughter, whom I carry in these photos, will see these pictures and be inspired to live authentically. To live FREE from the opinions of others and FREE from the confines of societal handcuffs.  I hope she sees that LIFE is always a gift, a blessing and a miracle.

Photos curtesy of: sonshineportraitdesign.com and the amazing photographer, Christie Kline!

Putting on a Brave Face

My sister, a type-1 diabetic, mother of 4, attorney, land-use judge, marathon runner and more, has recently added one more title to the many hats she wears: breast cancer fighter.

Stephanie has always been an inspiration to me, but when she joined me in my mascara business, she BLEW me out of the water. So much so, that I felt compelled to write a press release about her.  Writing is my therapy.  I'm not so great at expressing my emotions all the time -- especially when things scare me and make me feel completely helpless and out of control.  My shield and weapon of choice is always the pen -- (or laptop now).  Words will NEVER describe the love, the respect, the complete admiration I feel for my sister, but here's my attempt to introduce you -- to give you an inside peek-- at one of the most amazing women I've ever met!!  Here's my "press release" that I wrote about her:

Putting on a “brave face” – Cancer Patient and her Sister Give Back During Chemotherapy Treatment.

Stephanie Marshall Hicks, a mother of four, volunteer, contract attorney, avid runner and land use hearings officer received devastating news last June. She was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. Within a matter of weeks, Hicks began the first of an aggressive 8 rounds of chemotherapy over 16 weeks.

Despite her diagnosis, Hicks was determined to make lemonade out of lemons. In July, Stephanie decided to join Younique – a direct sales company, that sells makeup and skincare products. The company, most known for their 3D+ Fiber lash mascara, is a new company. However, as Hicks discovered, it is no ordinary company. It is a company with a mission to uplift, empower and validate women. A mission, which, resonates with Hicks.

Perhaps one of the hardest struggles with her cancer treatment was the loss of her hair. Even though the hair loss signified that the chemotherapy was working, it was nevertheless a constant reminder of her disease.
“When I first started with Younique, I had to force myself to put on my makeup. I am my own billboard for the product, so I have to wear it!! What I found, was that simple acts like getting dressed and putting on makeup made me feel more like ME again. It made me feel pretty and feminine, at a time when the things in my life that make me feel feminine were being taken away. It helped me, in a way to force myself to put on a ‘brave face.’”

Younique’s products are naturally based, which more than ever is important to Stephanie and her family. Moreover, makeup is recession proof- a luxury item many women will never part with regardless of the economy. Another aspect of this company that appealed to Stephanie was the online feature. “The company is the first ‘party company’ to operate solely on social media platforms. This is important, as I can host parties from the chemotherapy chair, or reach out to friends whom I have seen in years. I do not have to cook, clean or get my house ready. It’s all online!!”
Her “brave face” got noticed, and in less than a month, Stephanie promoted four times within her new business venture! Her sponsor and sister, Leslie Lewallen, said this: “It’s amazing to watch Stephanie. Despite everything that she has on her plate, and despite the fact that she’s out for three days every 2 weeks during her chemotherapy cycle, she still continues to succeed and promote!! I’ve watched her my entire life. She’s always been an inspiration, but she continues to up her game and impress me year after year. She has inspired thousands within the company. Women look up to her and say: “if she can do it…so can I!” Stephanie now has thousands of new friends who are cheering her on during treatment and helping to uplift, empower and validate her during this time.

In order to give back, Stephanie donated the proceeds of her commissions from all her sales in August to the Susan G. Komen breast cancer foundation Her sister, pledged to match the donation. Together they will have donated over $2,000 in a single month to cancer research.  Hicks has vowed to continue giving back in September, with a pledge to donate commissions this month to the St. Charles Cancer Center, and Sara’s Project, a local breast health education and outreach program to promote early detection of breast cancer and provide support to women facing a breast cancer diagnosis.

Stephanie’s mission is simple: “If you have been blessed in life, it is your duty to pass the blessing on. If I’ve learned anything with this cancer diagnosis, it is how important family, friends and supporting one another is.”

Together, Stephanie and her sister, Leslie donated more than $2,000 to Susan G. Komen.  The sisters have said that the feeling of empowerment – to give back during one’s fight – is humbling and gratifying.

To learn more, please contact Leslie at: lewallenbl@comcast.net. 309-363-9172, or www.lesliesluxelashes.com

Leslie's Favorite Maternity/Baby items 2015

I thought third time was the charm!! It was. I love my youngest boy. In fact, my heart breaks a little knowing he won't be my "baby" for much longer.  I'm hugging him a bit longer and a bit tighter these days.  I love all my boys, and we have a lot of fun. So much so, that #4 decided she wanted in on the action!!  Even though we were well into the next chapter of our lives, I decided to embrace every aspect of this "unplanned" miracle and rock it out.  I have to admit, that shopping for #4 has been FUN!!!

Here's what I'm learning. Some things don't change. People still act as a though a pregnant woman is fair game to touch, express opinions to, and "suggest" she may want to eat/drink something else.  That has not changed.

What has changed are all the maternity clothes, toys and gadgets!!! These items have seriously improved over the last 13 years when I was pregnant with my first, and even in the last 5 years, since I was pregnant with my last!

Let's chat clothes.  Originally, it was Old Navy, Motherhood Maternity, and then the UBER high end Pea in the Pod for your maternity wear.  Luckily, at that point in my life, I lived near an outlet mall, and stocked up at the local Motherhood Maternity store. I still did not like the clothes.  I remember getting what I thought was a cute red matching shirt/cardigan set. I was so excited to put it on...until...I put it on. I looked like a TOMATO.  So ever since then, I've attempted to steer clear of brightly colored maternity wear.

A few years later, Target and Nordstrom started to up their maternity wear game.  "Meh" was about all I had to say about that.  Honestly.  "Meh."

This time around, however, I've discovered a few brands that I'm DIGGING!!

1. Asos Maternity has really impressed me!!!  I found numerous dresses and basics that I find I'm reaching for time and time again!! I love my white and black dress that I wore on a cocktail cruise on Lake Michigan in Chicago, and a three-quarter length sleeve, olive green jersey dress that I can throw on and feel instantly put together!!!  Make sure you are ordering in US sizes. Pre-pregnancy size as well. I went up a "pre-pregnancy" size and things fit perfectly (i.e. Asos maternity runs small). The price point is GREAT!!! Maybe a wee bit more expensive than Old Navy or Target, but the quality is 1000 times better!!! us.asos.com/maternity

2. Stitch Fix. Go figure!! You sign up, fill out a fashion profile and then they send you a box of clothes, jewelry and accessories.  You keep what you want, and return the rest in a pre-paid shipping bag!!  TRUST me. I was skeptical.  I figured they'd get my size wrong.  They have been SPOT ON!!! Plus, since they ship once a month (or as often as you'd like), they send you pieces that work TRANSITIONALLY!!!!  My favorites so far have been the wrap dresses they have sent. Every time I put on the dresses, my husband and boys compliment me!!!  You can pin looks you love on your Stitch Fix pin on Pinterest to assist your fashion styler!!  PLUS...if you refer a friend to the site, you get a $25 referral credit when they order!!!  So sharing the love pays!! Check it out (they also do NON-maternity wear too!! I simply adore this service).  https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/3932174

3. Nordstrom.  The basic bundle from the Tarte line has been another go-to.  Definitely on the expensive side, but the fabric on the black basics is like BUTTER against my skin. Tank, skirt, leggings and dress.  They are soft, and do not irritate my already itchy skin. nordstrom.com

4. Zulily.  I love how they offer "deals of the day."  You get to try different brands and products at reduced zulily prices!  I have found a couple of GREAT brands on Zulily, that I most likely would not have purchased otherwise because of the higher price point.  www.seraphine.com/us has some very nice special occasion pieces. I checked there for a formal gown for my company's awards night (I ultimately wound up wearing a Motherhood maternity dress...but check here for weddings etc.).  I also found Momo Maternity!  This website has several winter coats that I bought!!  These coats are CUTE!! I got a red coat with black fur trim, and a pink coat with brown fur (yes, I'm all about the pink since #4 is a girl!!).  These coats, which normally run over $100, were a STEAL on Zulily!!!  You can find the entire line at: luxurylane.com/momo/maternity.  I have also stocked up on nursing basics, and basics for #4 on Zulily!  You never know what you'll find.  I even found a collapsable University of Washington Husky highchair!!!  It's my one-stop-shopping site for the entire family!!  (The boys don't know it, but I found some great Dr. Who items for Christmas at Zulily!).

In addition to the clothes, the GADGETS are getting amazingly cool.  UBER cool.  Babies come with a lot of stuff (or crap, as I normally say).  Lots and lots of crap.  Some of the new gadgets are simply extra "crap" that you won't really need or use, but, if you are a first time parent, which of course, I am not, you will likely buy.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You will LEARN!!  Bottle warmers, have now graduated to Keurig formula filling bottles.  amazon.com (Search Baby Brezza).  Looks great, but let's be honest. I want -- no---NEED my coffee maker on the counter!!  Plus, if it takes as long as my Keurig to brew a cup of coffee...you will go nuts waiting.

BUT...there are some new inventions that I will be purchasing.  Here's what I'm eying (I still have a couple months to decide, and October is when the new baby gear gets announced, so I may be revising this portion of my blog!).

1. Doona car seat/stroller.  Yes. A car seat with a base, that with the press of a button, releases stroller legs!!  Check this video out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQPf9nWzA0k.  I'm thinking this looks GREAT!!!  Yes, it is expensive, and I may have to buy another car seat system at a later date, but honestly? The first 6+ months this could be a game-changing life saver!!!  I live in the Midwest and it's COLD. I do not like having to run out of the car to grab the stroller base, pull the baby out of the car and assemble on the go.  It's COLD.  Having the option for the car seat to move into a stroller will come in handing around the house too!!!  Will I have to be careful? Yes. If I'm strolling through the mud or wet snow, I will want to cover my leather car seat.  I will want a cloth handy to wipe down the wheels before putting into the car. Small price to pay for convenience.  I'll give my full review on this Doona Car Seat/Stroller after I've actually used it.  As for aesthetics, despite the fact that they are coming out with a PINK color this October, I'm leaning towards the grey color.  There are a variety of great travel systems, in varying price points.  I used the Graco Travel system with my past three boys, so if the Doona turns out to be a bust, I'll most likely revert back to the tried and true.   *I have found that if one is very active, once baby can hold his/her head up, you will want a good jogger stroller for long walks/runs.  I will research those options and report back at a later date!!!

2. Tega bike-to-stroller option.  Similar to the Doona car seat/stroller option, Tega, a Swedish company, has revolutionized stroller/new mom fitness and convenience.  www.tegabikes.com.  Oh yeah!!!  I can just IMAGINE myself riding my Tega bike through the neighborhood, up to our local ice cream parlor, then shifting with ease into my "stroller" option.  But in all honesty, with my boys being older, and the Rock Island Trail being so close to our home, having the easy and convenient way to ride bikes with my boys and #4 is appealing!! Is it $1495 convenient?  I do not know!  Given the fact that I highly doubt I'll be riding my bike -- Tega or not-- for the first few months of #4's life...I'll see where I wind up budget-wise in buying baby gadgets. Super cool gadget though.

3. PUJ tub.  My friend/hairdresser informed me about this gem.  Babies are slippery little suckers!!!  It's nerve wracking trying to bath your little bundle of joy when you are afraid of them slipping and getting hurt.  The Puj tub fits nicely into your sink, and helps grip your baby and prevent slipping, so you can bathe your little beauty with less stress!!  $35-44 is on the pricier side, but, if you cut out other junk you don't need, I believe this is a wise investment.

4. Other Miscellaneous items.  In my research, I've seen some fan favorites. Some I've tried, like the Aden + Anais swaddle blankets.  I love the muslim swaddle blankets and am looking forward to trying their new infant clothes line!!!  You can find this at target.com or amazon.com.  Other products, that have received great reviews are the Vulli Sophie Giraffe and the WabbaNub pacifiers.  While none of my boys ever took to a pacifier, given the cute kittens, elephants and other plush toys attached to the pacifier, I may be inclined to try one this round.  Stay tuned.

5. New Moms.  Seriously.  You must take care of you.  Essentials in my hospital bag will be Soma's cool night pajamas.  You will want them.  You will sweat. Your hormones will be a hot mess. Trust me. Get some good, cool pajamas.  soma.com.

Nursing camisole. You will want a camisole -- not just a bra. Why? You won't want your stomach showing. Regardless of whether you look like a Victoria Secret Model after you deliver, having coverage over your stomach when you nurse is nice.  Sometimes those middle of the night feedings can be drafty.  I love the nursing camisoles.

Makeup/skincare!  Don't neglect yourself!!  A little mascara and lip stain go a LONG way in helping you feel like YOU again.  The lip stain is perfect, as it stays put and won't come off on baby while you kiss her little toes and chubby cheeks all day long.  The 3D+ mascara will also not only help you look MORE rested than you will be, but it is also water-resistant, so when you have a hormonal breakdown (which you will), it will not wind up all over your face!!!  The naturally based products are safe for YOU and baby, so there's one less thing to feel guilty about!! Trust me. Get the mascara and lip stain and put it in your hospital bag: www.lesliesluxelashes.com.  I recommend shy or sappy for a very light natural look.  Sleek or Sultry for those nights when you have a sitter!!!  The rosewater spray is also very refreshing to spritz on your face (or might I even suggest on your chest area) for a quick pick me up and toning of the skin!!

With #4 I have found I'm willing to try new things.  Not necessarily more "stuff" but I'm willing to experiment more with my "beliefs" on child rearing.  My life has changed since I had my first, my second and even my third.  I'm willing to forgo the "diaper" pail and haul those dirty diapers to the trash can to avoid the smell. I'm willing to try to nurse longer, to avoid the cost and sheer messiness of bottles and formula.  Honestly, those bottles and formula can pile up!!!  **I make NO judgment here on breast vs. bottle. I've been on both sides of this issue, so it's really up to the mom and the point in her life.  I just have found that one of the things I despise the MOST about baby clutter, is all the bottles and formula piling up around the house.

I'm eying products that will enhance my life and help make it easier.  My goal is to not trip over the piles of toys and gadgets in my home. I want to streamline.  Luckily, I may not need some of the bouncers etc. this time around to help me get a quick 5 minute shower. I have three boys, whom, I'm hoping can entertain their little sister so I can pop into the shower, make dinner, or grab the phone.

All in all, I'm excited with the new products, and excited for the little blessing that will arrive this December!  I'd love to hear YOUR favorite things!!