What's IMPORTANT vs. what is NOT. To me, this is what Yin and Yang mean. What is important, vs. what is not a priority.
At 42, I still have the same 24 hours in the day as I did when I was 21. We ALL have those same 24 hours. What changes is not time, it's not even US that changes...it's our PRIORITIES.
In my 20's and young 30's my education and career were my priority. In my 30's, my family and career were my priority. My mid-30's to 40, my priority was my family -- that's it. My family. At 39, I learned I lost myself. I didn't know what to look forward to. I lost "my girl." Thank goodness, God answered my prayer and gave me something -- a sisterhood -- a global business -- a hook--to hang my hat -- to save me from myself.
At 40, I thought I had it made. Global business woman. Mom of school-aged children. Finally the hard work paid off. Easy coasting from here on out....right??? Nope!!! Curve ball!!! Baby #4 on her way!!
Vivienne Louise. Her birth, her entrance and the impact she's made on our lives ever since has been a constant reminder that God is in control. Her story is powerful. It's not my story anymore...it's her story. She was meant to be. I was meant to live longer. I believe that. The doctor told me that. She said: "You must have some important work to do here on earth..."
I've dealt with a lot of junk in my life. A LOT. This year is poignant. My oldest is going into 7th grade. The year EVERYTHING changed for me. The year boys and girls were cruel beyond words to me. The year that those kids felt they had permission to treat a human being horribly for the next few years without a second thought.
As I fixed his shirt, and gave him a hug, I held on a little tighter. When I picked him up from practice that night and he said with perfect innocence: "Mom! People like me! When I walk in the room, I make them smile!!" I could not help but cringe. I was about to warn him not to be "too confident" for fear that what happened to me, would happen to him. In an instant, I was that same 7th grade kiddo he was. I was that same loveable, charismatic kid that the others wanted to snuff out.
I had to contain my own demons. I had to say "NO" to my inner negative voice, and celebrate HIM. I didn't warn him. I'm going to HOPE what happened to me, doesn't happen to him.
He is contagious. He is amazing. He is someone everyone wants to know. Because HE is loving. Because he is SMART. Because he is the son GOD entrusted to me. I'm so proud. I hope he navigates this maze better than I did!!
This is entirely too long, but those of you who knew me back "when." Take a look at your kids. Give them the love, the understanding and the empathy they need. And then...GIVE THE KID you think you HATE...the same empathy. Just for a second. Please. Just breathe...you might discover a different perspective. In all honesty, it was the parents of these bullies that were the worst. They hated me. Hated the confidence I had, and the willingness to stand up for myself. They passed that hate and insecurity along to their kids.
I "looked" like I had it all together in middle school and high school. My appearance and clothes were my shield. I didn't want the bullies to win!!! But inside I was breaking. I was hurting. So much so, that 30 some years later I still struggle. So be easy on that cheerleader. Talk and listen to your kids. Encourage them to stand up for others. Talk to them about those bullies too. They are hurting on the inside, or they wouldn't be insistent on hurting others.
YIN and YANG. Take the good with the bad. ADD the GOOD to the BAD. Always find a better way. ALWAYS. I chose this picture, because THIS night we were asked if we'd have another. I said: "NO. We are done, but if God has other plans, then so be it." So there it is. God had ALWAYS had other plans. If he's this Good to us here on earth, then PLEASE be this good in Heaven!!!
