We are all told not to "sweat the small stuff," yet we do. We are indoctrinated at a young age to believe that with enough time and energy we can change ourselves and hone those skills that don't come naturally. WHY? That IS sweating the small stuff. Now, as a mom of three boys, it's my job to see what that "small stuff" is. So in vehement protest from my boys, I insist that they play piano, try sports, ski, read and learn basic domestic duties (future daughters-in-law, I hope you thank me later, because I get a LOT Of push back now.)
My husband use to joke that I am a "master delegator." I'm not sure if he meant it as a compliment, but I took it as one!! Seriously! Delegation is a skill to acquire! It's a knowledge of one's own skills, time and expertise. It's the ability to say: my time is valued elsewhere!
Personally, I'm a big picture person. I don't like to be bothered with the "little stuff." A legal degree helped me realize that that "little stuff" can be "big stuff" if unattended, but I still like the BIG picture. That's what floats my boat!! Ergo...the switch in careers!!
Cue the backstory:
When I got married, we had an AMAZING florist. She was a hands on gal. Really. I told her what I (thought) I wanted, and she took over. What I thought I wanted was ALL wrong!! But, setting my ego aside, I figured I'd leave it to the expert. Clearly she was in the business for a reason.
She informed me, that as a blonde (paid for or otherwise), that red roses were not an appropriate color, as they would accentuate my roots. Good point! I hadn't thought of that!! Anyway, it was at that moment; in the height of my wedding planning bliss, that I decided -- why not turn all those details over to the experts? I did, and I was BEYOND happy. I'm not good at micro-managing :-)
Fast forward now to my new mascara opportunity!!! Holy Moly! I had NO idea of the growth that would take place in such a short amount of time. In December, I started to really think about how to work SMARTER and not HARDER. Delegation. Yup! Delegation!! Why not? I'm NOT an expert at web design, or creating websites etc. I have a lot of great skills, but why not focus on what I love, and outsource the rest to someone that loves what I do not???
It is scary. Scary to give up control. Scary to not have all the answers and to trust someone else. It is easy to not even try. To stay in our comfort zone behind those big strong walls we've built to protect ourselves. But the results can be so much better than what we imagine if we just delegate and TRUST.
Today, I'm running a business of mentoring and coaching close to 2,000 women and men. Time management has become of utmost concern and value. So in December, I did what all great leaders do -- I DELEGATED building my new website to JG Barnard http://www.jgbarnardmarketing.com/. GREAT decision. Love them. Love my new website: www.lesliesluxelashes.com (yes, shameless plug, but seriously check it out!! JG Barnard did AMAZING work!).
I'm thankful that I listened to my heart and my gut and DELEGATED so I can focus on income-producing activities, and streamlining my business!!! To say that it was a "boutique experience" wouldn't give it justice. I value the professionalism, the dedication, the attention and the sage advice I've been given. Not only was this company AMAZING to work with, but I've gained a new life-long friend in the process!!! I have no doubt that this relationship will see many fruitful years of business and friendship!
It's so FREEING when we can let go - (I won't quote the Frozen song, but admit it -- you started to sing it in your head). Let go of what you aren't great at and DELEGATE or outsource it!!!
I once read something that I found profound. We focus so much of our time on what we AREN'T good at, instead of forgetting it and focusing ONLY on what we ARE good at!! Frankly, I'm 40 now, and I humbling realize my limitations and priorities. I CHOSE to focus my time on what makes me happy: my family, writing, inspiring, leading and mentoring!!
So my point of this blog is to share that DELEGATION is not a dirty word, or skill. It's is a self-aware attribute that can provide FREEDOM and focus on the things you love!
From laundry, child-care, lawn service, house cleaners etc. I think it is important to ask what can you delegate to improve your quality of life? What can YOU delegate today to make your life more enjoyable?
xoxoxoxoxo
Leslie
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Monday, February 23, 2015
Midlife, Motherhood and Mascara: Excess Baggage/Fat Tuesday and the 15 minute-a-day...
Midlife, Motherhood and Mascara: Excess Baggage/Fat Tuesday and the 15 minute-a-day...: It's Fat Tuesday -- otherwise known as "The Day before Lent Starts". They call it Fat Tuesday, because generally people are c...
Midlife, Motherhood and Mascara: Everyone has a Story...really.
Midlife, Motherhood and Mascara: Everyone has a Story...really.: We moved to Peoria in 2006 from Seattle, Washington. It's been a "journey," that's for sure. Here's my story (and...
Friday, February 20, 2015
Everyone has a Story...really.
We moved to Peoria in 2006 from Seattle, Washington. It's been a "journey," that's for sure.
Here's my story (and I'm sticking to it...for now).
To be quite honest, I'd never been to the Midwest until I met my husband. Truly. Those "flyover" states were something I had memorized in the 5th or 6th grade, but never had any intention of visiting -- let alone living in!
My husband and I met during Christmas break of our respective third year of law school at a mutual friend's party. I was finishing up at Seattle University School of Law (my dad told me to go to school where I intended to practice), and Brian was similarly in his third year at Marquette Law School, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
We met, we fell in love and we dated long distance. After deciding to date exclusively in January of 2000, I went to visit Brian in Milwaukee in February. *Yes, there is a LOT wrong with that sentence -- especially deciding to visit a new boyfriend in Milwaukee in February!!! So...never having been to the Midwest, I literally had to pull out the map. I'm not ashamed. Most of my friends had to double check where Milwaukee was too (and they were law school students). I flew into Chicago that first trip, and we drove from Chicago to Milwaukee. Oh.My.Goodness. It was flat. It was cold. Flat and cold. Flat and cold. Unless you grew up on an Island in the Pacific Northwest and were use to seeing mountains and water everyday, you really can't explain the shock. The utter shock of the immense FLATNESS one encounters from Chicago to Milwaukee.
Anyway. As chances have had it in my life, I wound up living in Wisconsin for nearly a year, and then after a brief reprieve in Washington State, we were back to the Midwest. This time...in Peoria (yup...I had to google Peoria and pull the map out again!).
Don't get me wrong. I've come to love and appreciate the Midwest and feel like I've been given an "insiders sneak peek" at our country's best kept secrets. Wisconsin has heart like no other state I've ever visited. The people are passionate about their state, their teams, their cheese/food and alcohol! I learned early on, that nearly every ailment could be cured by a type of alcoholic beverage. The Justice I use to work for, would say: "Sounds like you have a cold...you need a Brandy!" Okie dokie! While the rest of the country mother hens pregnant women when they order a regular latte, the folks in Wisconsin leave you alone! Truly, they don't blink and EYE if a pregnant lady orders a beer. Gotta love that. Libertarian views at work!
Illinois lacks Wisconsin's charm and heart. I do have to say, that Chicago is my favorite big city town (I like it better than Seattle...sorry!), but Chicago is Chicago. It's not really Illinois. Chicago has great food. Peoria does not!
So back to Peoria. I love the schools, I love the community, I love the Midwestern hospitality etc. but I do NOT love the food. With every "problem" comes an opportunity, so my purgatory in Peoria has led me to be a good cook. Necessity breeds greatness. But...I don't always want to cook, so we have discovered a few places that we do LOVE to eat at in this town. So, when a new pizza place opened up in Junction City, we had to to try it!!! We loved it!! Wood fired Pizza! It was great!! A cute, fun place to take the boys on a Friday night!!! The pizza place is Brienzos.
Brienzos. We frequent the pizza place about once a week. Mainly on Fridays after school. My boys call it the: "Subway pizza place" because you can make your own pizzas! The owner and his wife are beyond sweet (and tolerant of my boys). Most of the time it is just the boys and me, because Brian is either traveling or working late. But it's always the same. The boys and me and pizza on Friday nights!!! Tradition!
Fast forward several months later. The owners are sweet and usually let us try their dessert pizzas etc. "on the house." So I was musing out loud to my oldest one time and said: "I wonder why it's called Brienzos? You should ask the owner. I bet there is a story!" Boy. Was I right!! It was Grandma Brienzo, whom the pizza place was named after. But...the REAL story was how the owner lost his pharmaceutical sales job 4-5 years ago. He didn't know what to do, so he talked to his Grandma and she gave him the family recipe for pizzas. They sold off everything they owned, bought a wood-fired oven, and traveled from festival to festival for two years. As he said: "we lived like Carnis (carnival people). They built up a clientele, and word of mouth, then finally they had enough money to buy the place in Junction City. WOW. WOW. I loved the pizza already, but now, knowing the STORY, I loved the pizza even MORE and wanted to give them my business ALL the time!!
So back to Friday night date night with Peoria's three most eligible bachelors -- my sons. We go early, and chat with the husband/wife owners. I use this time to show my sons how hard working people create and maintain a business and customer base. I love Fridays. I love Brienzos. I love their Story.
Tonight, for the first time in well over a year, I gave the owners MY card, and shared MY story. It was funny. She had been considering lash extensions, and had recently been invited to a mascara party that she couldn't make. I shared about our company's mission to uplift, inspire and validate women. I gave her a mascara. She was so excited!!! It was so much more fun to share and swap with someone whom I had built a RELATIONSHIP with. I felt ok sharing my story, since I knew their story!!!
My boys are learning a valuable lesson right along with me: FACTS tell...but STORIES sell. When we let down our guard, when we allow ourselves to be human -- imperfections and all -- that's how we connect. That's how we engage. That's how businesses GROW. It's network and relationships!
I hope my boys always seek out the "story.: There is ALWAYS a story. We just have to ask and listen! What's YOUR story? Inspirational video for your viewing pleasure: http://flipagram.com/f/R2SnMyMZsj
Cheers!!! Happy Weekend!!!
Leslie
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Excess Baggage/Fat Tuesday and the 15 minute-a-day Lent purge.
It's Fat Tuesday -- otherwise known as "The Day before Lent Starts". They call it Fat Tuesday, because generally people are consuming all the fat, the meat and things that they "give up" during Lent. It's a preparation for a period of fasting, reflection and self-denial.
Oddly, I actually LOVE Lent. The idea of giving things up and making small sacrifices or "mortifications (small deaths)," to develop better self-control and to reflect on what Jesus gave up for us. Now that I'm Catholic, I'm putting that good-old guilt to use!! Just kidding. Sort of.
Even if you are not religious, or even if you do not practice Lent, I love the idea of it. It's like you've gotten a second kick at the cat (figure of speech), to go after those New Year's resolutions with vigor and in a shorter time frame! 40 days! Not a year! Just 40 days! Then PARTY time at Easter!
Lent is a time to reflect. What I find disturbing is that "Fat Tuesday" has become the norm in our society. Everyday is Fat Tuesday. We carry around excess FAT by way of pounds, stuff, and junk. We literally keep padding on fat to protect ourselves from fear and the shame of our inadequacies!
For me, it's easy to give "things" up, but it is much harder for me to address the things I'm avoiding. It's that ACTION that needs addressing.
I'm a perfectionist (it's my shield). My tendency is to try to do everything perfectly, and if I can't do it right -- why bother? Or, more realistically, I will feel overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and become paralyzed into inaction. So things/stuff/junk literally starts to pile up.
Take for example, my house. There's A LOT I need to clean up and organize! Before getting married and having kids, I had no idea the inordinate amount of time parents spend on managing their kids' "stuff" -- regardless of the time they spend managing their own "stuff." During the school year, I feel as though pounds upon pounds of paperwork flood my home. I've gotten better about trashing papers as soon as possible, despite the big puppy dog eyes my boys' give me when they say: "You're not saving that?"
My husband is ALMOST as bad. I'm happy to say that he's made progress. I have a distinct feeling that if he didn't marry me, he could have very well have wound up on a the t.v. show Hoarders. No joke. Hoarding, as with weight issues, clutter, procrastination and perfection all have the same origins. They are used to protect ourselves. To shield us from issues of scarcity and inadequacies! Our national problems all can be boiled down to these simple fears. It's sad, but I'm confident that every person suffers from these feelings in one way shape or form.
A few years ago, in the midst of having a 6 year old, an almost two year old and a newborn, and the absolute chaos that ensues from young children and a husband traveling all the time, I read The Fly Lady's book: Sink Reflections. This book was a game changer for me.
For reasons I have yet to uncover or really dive into, I have always recoiled at domestic duties -- most likely as some sort of feminist defiance. I abhor cleaning and organizing. I much prefer cooking and gardening. I believe them to be more "creative." Anyway, I digress.
The Fly Lady, boiled things down for me into bite size manageable household tricks: "A load a day keeps the chaos away." I used to chant that over and over while dragging laundry down two flights of stairs. But she's right. If I can manage a load a day, my laundry will not pile up and I will not spend my entire weekend tackling a mountain of clothes.
But the REAL "Ah-Ha" moment for me came when she discussed setting the timer for 15 minutes a day. "15 minutes?" I thought: "I can do that!!!" So I started setting the timer for 15 minutes at night and tidying up the house. Cleaning the sink, the papers off the counter and putting things in their place. It worked!!! Holy Moly!!! Just 15 minutes a day!! I could handle that, but needed more!
So a few years ago, I decided to give the 15 minute challenge to a specific area of my house for each of the 40 days during Lent. I literally wrote down a specific area for each of the 40 areas to tackle each day. Then, I went out and got a cute timer (I got a pig timer -- get it?) The cute timer helped me. Don't ask. It just did. It sat there like a little friend saying: "Yeah -- toss it!"
I took swift decisive action. If an item hadn't been used, or gave me feelings of guilt or sadness, I would give it away in hopes of blessing someone else. This was not easy. Beautiful suits from my days as an attorney sat in my closet for years. Deciding to give them away was an emotionally gut-wrenching activity. It was as though I was giving away my past, my ME time, my hopes and dreams and aspirations. "What if I go back to work?" "What if I need these suits?" But I had to get TOUGH with myself. Even if I go back to work, these suits no longer: (a) fit or (b) were in style (even though my style is quite classic if I say so myself!). So there I stood. In my closet. Facing emotions that I didn't want to face. But the Fly Lady didn't give me a lot of time to hem and haw! If it was not blessing me, then I needed to let it go and bless someone else!! FREEDOM!! Sweet freedom! I was able to part with those clothes. Clothes are THINGS -- they are not me. They do not define me, and they were only sitting there year after year reminding me of my feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
I saved baby clothes from my sisters for years. I had BOXES of both girl and boy clothes in my attic. While we had our first son early on, we experienced what is known as "secondary unexplained infertility." I finally found out I have endometriosis. Once we figured that out, I was able to get pregnant again with my second two sons. But those boxes of clothes sat there for YEARS. I hated going into the attic, because those boxes were staring at me -- reminding me of my fears and my perceived inadequacies (that's a WHOLE different blog post). Finally getting rid of all those clothes in the world's biggest garage sale in Peoria, gave me feelings of freedom and joy! But to see the look on the face of those people who really needed the clothes and who were being blessed by the clothes made sense to me!! Bless others with the "things" that aren't blessing you.
Back to Lent. I need encouragement. When I was doing my 15 minute purge session a few years ago, I took pictures of the bags I was donating to Goodwill and posted them on Facebook. I'm not sure if I needed some sort of accountability, or if the cheers and moral support made me feel better, but it was fun!!!
Today, on Fat Tuesday, 2015, I was chatting with a friend of mine about Lent and life. She asked me if I was going to do the "crazy cleaning thing" I did a few years back. WOW! She remembered!!! So I asked on my Facebook what everyone was planning on giving up and mentioned that I wanted to do my 15 minute purge session for 40 days again for Lent. The response was amazing! "I love this!" "Can I do the same place several times?" "Where do I start?" Numerous comments and likes later, I figured that I'm not alone!!!
So for the next 40 days, I'm going to do what cures my issues of self-doubt, perfection and feelings of inadequacy. I'm going to take ACTION--if just for 15 minutes. I'm going to set the timer, I'm going to tell procrastination to "suck it," and I'm going to get things DONE! I'm going to get rid of my baggage -- literally. I'm going to let go of stuff that's holding me back, and suffocating me. When I release that stuff, I'll similarly release the issues that are related to that "stuff." It's going to be a liberating 40 days!
Who's with me? Who wants to purge their excess baggage?? Whatever your goal is: organization, fitness, career or otherwise, we can all make strong headway by setting the timer and attacking things methodically!
My hope is to chronicle Lent 2015 every day. (I may have to set the timer). The physical and emotional are inextricably intertwined. Baby steps. Set the timer. 15 minutes. We can all do that!
I made this little musical slideshow to inspire me during my 15 minutes! http://flipagram.com/f/R2SnMyMZsj
xoxoxoxoxo,
Leslie
Oddly, I actually LOVE Lent. The idea of giving things up and making small sacrifices or "mortifications (small deaths)," to develop better self-control and to reflect on what Jesus gave up for us. Now that I'm Catholic, I'm putting that good-old guilt to use!! Just kidding. Sort of.
Even if you are not religious, or even if you do not practice Lent, I love the idea of it. It's like you've gotten a second kick at the cat (figure of speech), to go after those New Year's resolutions with vigor and in a shorter time frame! 40 days! Not a year! Just 40 days! Then PARTY time at Easter!
Lent is a time to reflect. What I find disturbing is that "Fat Tuesday" has become the norm in our society. Everyday is Fat Tuesday. We carry around excess FAT by way of pounds, stuff, and junk. We literally keep padding on fat to protect ourselves from fear and the shame of our inadequacies!
For me, it's easy to give "things" up, but it is much harder for me to address the things I'm avoiding. It's that ACTION that needs addressing.
I'm a perfectionist (it's my shield). My tendency is to try to do everything perfectly, and if I can't do it right -- why bother? Or, more realistically, I will feel overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and become paralyzed into inaction. So things/stuff/junk literally starts to pile up.
Take for example, my house. There's A LOT I need to clean up and organize! Before getting married and having kids, I had no idea the inordinate amount of time parents spend on managing their kids' "stuff" -- regardless of the time they spend managing their own "stuff." During the school year, I feel as though pounds upon pounds of paperwork flood my home. I've gotten better about trashing papers as soon as possible, despite the big puppy dog eyes my boys' give me when they say: "You're not saving that?"
My husband is ALMOST as bad. I'm happy to say that he's made progress. I have a distinct feeling that if he didn't marry me, he could have very well have wound up on a the t.v. show Hoarders. No joke. Hoarding, as with weight issues, clutter, procrastination and perfection all have the same origins. They are used to protect ourselves. To shield us from issues of scarcity and inadequacies! Our national problems all can be boiled down to these simple fears. It's sad, but I'm confident that every person suffers from these feelings in one way shape or form.
A few years ago, in the midst of having a 6 year old, an almost two year old and a newborn, and the absolute chaos that ensues from young children and a husband traveling all the time, I read The Fly Lady's book: Sink Reflections. This book was a game changer for me.
For reasons I have yet to uncover or really dive into, I have always recoiled at domestic duties -- most likely as some sort of feminist defiance. I abhor cleaning and organizing. I much prefer cooking and gardening. I believe them to be more "creative." Anyway, I digress.
The Fly Lady, boiled things down for me into bite size manageable household tricks: "A load a day keeps the chaos away." I used to chant that over and over while dragging laundry down two flights of stairs. But she's right. If I can manage a load a day, my laundry will not pile up and I will not spend my entire weekend tackling a mountain of clothes.
But the REAL "Ah-Ha" moment for me came when she discussed setting the timer for 15 minutes a day. "15 minutes?" I thought: "I can do that!!!" So I started setting the timer for 15 minutes at night and tidying up the house. Cleaning the sink, the papers off the counter and putting things in their place. It worked!!! Holy Moly!!! Just 15 minutes a day!! I could handle that, but needed more!
So a few years ago, I decided to give the 15 minute challenge to a specific area of my house for each of the 40 days during Lent. I literally wrote down a specific area for each of the 40 areas to tackle each day. Then, I went out and got a cute timer (I got a pig timer -- get it?) The cute timer helped me. Don't ask. It just did. It sat there like a little friend saying: "Yeah -- toss it!"
I took swift decisive action. If an item hadn't been used, or gave me feelings of guilt or sadness, I would give it away in hopes of blessing someone else. This was not easy. Beautiful suits from my days as an attorney sat in my closet for years. Deciding to give them away was an emotionally gut-wrenching activity. It was as though I was giving away my past, my ME time, my hopes and dreams and aspirations. "What if I go back to work?" "What if I need these suits?" But I had to get TOUGH with myself. Even if I go back to work, these suits no longer: (a) fit or (b) were in style (even though my style is quite classic if I say so myself!). So there I stood. In my closet. Facing emotions that I didn't want to face. But the Fly Lady didn't give me a lot of time to hem and haw! If it was not blessing me, then I needed to let it go and bless someone else!! FREEDOM!! Sweet freedom! I was able to part with those clothes. Clothes are THINGS -- they are not me. They do not define me, and they were only sitting there year after year reminding me of my feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
I saved baby clothes from my sisters for years. I had BOXES of both girl and boy clothes in my attic. While we had our first son early on, we experienced what is known as "secondary unexplained infertility." I finally found out I have endometriosis. Once we figured that out, I was able to get pregnant again with my second two sons. But those boxes of clothes sat there for YEARS. I hated going into the attic, because those boxes were staring at me -- reminding me of my fears and my perceived inadequacies (that's a WHOLE different blog post). Finally getting rid of all those clothes in the world's biggest garage sale in Peoria, gave me feelings of freedom and joy! But to see the look on the face of those people who really needed the clothes and who were being blessed by the clothes made sense to me!! Bless others with the "things" that aren't blessing you.
Back to Lent. I need encouragement. When I was doing my 15 minute purge session a few years ago, I took pictures of the bags I was donating to Goodwill and posted them on Facebook. I'm not sure if I needed some sort of accountability, or if the cheers and moral support made me feel better, but it was fun!!!
Today, on Fat Tuesday, 2015, I was chatting with a friend of mine about Lent and life. She asked me if I was going to do the "crazy cleaning thing" I did a few years back. WOW! She remembered!!! So I asked on my Facebook what everyone was planning on giving up and mentioned that I wanted to do my 15 minute purge session for 40 days again for Lent. The response was amazing! "I love this!" "Can I do the same place several times?" "Where do I start?" Numerous comments and likes later, I figured that I'm not alone!!!
So for the next 40 days, I'm going to do what cures my issues of self-doubt, perfection and feelings of inadequacy. I'm going to take ACTION--if just for 15 minutes. I'm going to set the timer, I'm going to tell procrastination to "suck it," and I'm going to get things DONE! I'm going to get rid of my baggage -- literally. I'm going to let go of stuff that's holding me back, and suffocating me. When I release that stuff, I'll similarly release the issues that are related to that "stuff." It's going to be a liberating 40 days!
Who's with me? Who wants to purge their excess baggage?? Whatever your goal is: organization, fitness, career or otherwise, we can all make strong headway by setting the timer and attacking things methodically!
My hope is to chronicle Lent 2015 every day. (I may have to set the timer). The physical and emotional are inextricably intertwined. Baby steps. Set the timer. 15 minutes. We can all do that!
I made this little musical slideshow to inspire me during my 15 minutes! http://flipagram.com/f/R2SnMyMZsj
xoxoxoxoxo,
Leslie
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