It's Fat Tuesday -- otherwise known as "The Day before Lent Starts". They call it Fat Tuesday, because generally people are consuming all the fat, the meat and things that they "give up" during Lent. It's a preparation for a period of fasting, reflection and self-denial.
Oddly, I actually LOVE Lent. The idea of giving things up and making small sacrifices or "mortifications (small deaths)," to develop better self-control and to reflect on what Jesus gave up for us. Now that I'm Catholic, I'm putting that good-old guilt to use!! Just kidding. Sort of.
Even if you are not religious, or even if you do not practice Lent, I love the idea of it. It's like you've gotten a second kick at the cat (figure of speech), to go after those New Year's resolutions with vigor and in a shorter time frame! 40 days! Not a year! Just 40 days! Then PARTY time at Easter!
Lent is a time to reflect. What I find disturbing is that "Fat Tuesday" has become the norm in our society. Everyday is Fat Tuesday. We carry around excess FAT by way of pounds, stuff, and junk. We literally keep padding on fat to protect ourselves from fear and the shame of our inadequacies!
For me, it's easy to give "things" up, but it is much harder for me to address the things I'm avoiding. It's that ACTION that needs addressing.
I'm a perfectionist (it's my shield). My tendency is to try to do everything perfectly, and if I can't do it right -- why bother? Or, more realistically, I will feel overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and become paralyzed into inaction. So things/stuff/junk literally starts to pile up.
Take for example, my house. There's A LOT I need to clean up and organize! Before getting married and having kids, I had no idea the inordinate amount of time parents spend on managing their kids' "stuff" -- regardless of the time they spend managing their own "stuff." During the school year, I feel as though pounds upon pounds of paperwork flood my home. I've gotten better about trashing papers as soon as possible, despite the big puppy dog eyes my boys' give me when they say: "You're not saving that?"
My husband is ALMOST as bad. I'm happy to say that he's made progress. I have a distinct feeling that if he didn't marry me, he could have very well have wound up on a the t.v. show Hoarders. No joke. Hoarding, as with weight issues, clutter, procrastination and perfection all have the same origins. They are used to protect ourselves. To shield us from issues of scarcity and inadequacies! Our national problems all can be boiled down to these simple fears. It's sad, but I'm confident that every person suffers from these feelings in one way shape or form.
A few years ago, in the midst of having a 6 year old, an almost two year old and a newborn, and the absolute chaos that ensues from young children and a husband traveling all the time, I read The Fly Lady's book: Sink Reflections. This book was a game changer for me.
For reasons I have yet to uncover or really dive into, I have always recoiled at domestic duties -- most likely as some sort of feminist defiance. I abhor cleaning and organizing. I much prefer cooking and gardening. I believe them to be more "creative." Anyway, I digress.
The Fly Lady, boiled things down for me into bite size manageable household tricks: "A load a day keeps the chaos away." I used to chant that over and over while dragging laundry down two flights of stairs. But she's right. If I can manage a load a day, my laundry will not pile up and I will not spend my entire weekend tackling a mountain of clothes.
But the REAL "Ah-Ha" moment for me came when she discussed setting the timer for 15 minutes a day. "15 minutes?" I thought: "I can do that!!!" So I started setting the timer for 15 minutes at night and tidying up the house. Cleaning the sink, the papers off the counter and putting things in their place. It worked!!! Holy Moly!!! Just 15 minutes a day!! I could handle that, but needed more!
So a few years ago, I decided to give the 15 minute challenge to a specific area of my house for each of the 40 days during Lent. I literally wrote down a specific area for each of the 40 areas to tackle each day. Then, I went out and got a cute timer (I got a pig timer -- get it?) The cute timer helped me. Don't ask. It just did. It sat there like a little friend saying: "Yeah -- toss it!"
I took swift decisive action. If an item hadn't been used, or gave me feelings of guilt or sadness, I would give it away in hopes of blessing someone else. This was not easy. Beautiful suits from my days as an attorney sat in my closet for years. Deciding to give them away was an emotionally gut-wrenching activity. It was as though I was giving away my past, my ME time, my hopes and dreams and aspirations. "What if I go back to work?" "What if I need these suits?" But I had to get TOUGH with myself. Even if I go back to work, these suits no longer: (a) fit or (b) were in style (even though my style is quite classic if I say so myself!). So there I stood. In my closet. Facing emotions that I didn't want to face. But the Fly Lady didn't give me a lot of time to hem and haw! If it was not blessing me, then I needed to let it go and bless someone else!! FREEDOM!! Sweet freedom! I was able to part with those clothes. Clothes are THINGS -- they are not me. They do not define me, and they were only sitting there year after year reminding me of my feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
I saved baby clothes from my sisters for years. I had BOXES of both girl and boy clothes in my attic. While we had our first son early on, we experienced what is known as "secondary unexplained infertility." I finally found out I have endometriosis. Once we figured that out, I was able to get pregnant again with my second two sons. But those boxes of clothes sat there for YEARS. I hated going into the attic, because those boxes were staring at me -- reminding me of my fears and my perceived inadequacies (that's a WHOLE different blog post). Finally getting rid of all those clothes in the world's biggest garage sale in Peoria, gave me feelings of freedom and joy! But to see the look on the face of those people who really needed the clothes and who were being blessed by the clothes made sense to me!! Bless others with the "things" that aren't blessing you.
Back to Lent. I need encouragement. When I was doing my 15 minute purge session a few years ago, I took pictures of the bags I was donating to Goodwill and posted them on Facebook. I'm not sure if I needed some sort of accountability, or if the cheers and moral support made me feel better, but it was fun!!!
Today, on Fat Tuesday, 2015, I was chatting with a friend of mine about Lent and life. She asked me if I was going to do the "crazy cleaning thing" I did a few years back. WOW! She remembered!!! So I asked on my Facebook what everyone was planning on giving up and mentioned that I wanted to do my 15 minute purge session for 40 days again for Lent. The response was amazing! "I love this!" "Can I do the same place several times?" "Where do I start?" Numerous comments and likes later, I figured that I'm not alone!!!
So for the next 40 days, I'm going to do what cures my issues of self-doubt, perfection and feelings of inadequacy. I'm going to take ACTION--if just for 15 minutes. I'm going to set the timer, I'm going to tell procrastination to "suck it," and I'm going to get things DONE! I'm going to get rid of my baggage -- literally. I'm going to let go of stuff that's holding me back, and suffocating me. When I release that stuff, I'll similarly release the issues that are related to that "stuff." It's going to be a liberating 40 days!
Who's with me? Who wants to purge their excess baggage?? Whatever your goal is: organization, fitness, career or otherwise, we can all make strong headway by setting the timer and attacking things methodically!
My hope is to chronicle Lent 2015 every day. (I may have to set the timer). The physical and emotional are inextricably intertwined. Baby steps. Set the timer. 15 minutes. We can all do that!
I made this little musical slideshow to inspire me during my 15 minutes! http://flipagram.com/f/R2SnMyMZsj
xoxoxoxoxo,
Leslie
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